Shenanigans
by yellowsunx
Summary: Random one shots starring the original Wasabi Warriors - Jerry Martinez, Milton Krupnick and Eddie.
1. That's What She Said

Hey guys! I'm back with a new story ... er compilation of various one-shots! I deleted Web of Lies because I lost all my interest in writing that fic. Sorry for the inconvenience.

This story will involve only Jerry Martinez, Milton Krupnick and Eddie {insert last name here}. There may be some guest stars in one shots (Jack and Kim merely and they're in this one as well) but this story is dedicated to them. I feel that they rarely ever get recognition so I decided to create one. This was also a way for me to work on writing humor because I feel I lack that component when I write.

There will be some vulgar words and sexual references but hey, it's just a story ;).

Hopefully you all will like this :D

* * *

**That's What She Said**

* * *

Jack Anderson and Kim Crawford were off to the side stuffing the scratched up punching dummy into one of the lockers. The duo cursed multiple times as the dummy refused to fit inside the extremely small locker.

Kim paused, ".. it just won't fit!"

Eddie Johnson's lips twitched into a smirk as he sat on the blue, moldy mat. He tried to block out their conversation but it was completely hard to do so especially since their conversation involved multiple sexual innuendos.

"It isn't that hard!" Jack's deep voice rang through his ears.

Eddie tried to stifle his laugh once more but the opportunity was too good to pass up.

"That's what she said!" He commented with a big grin.

Kim and Jack stopped in their current positions; she lugging the dummy's head while Jack held the other side. Two pairs of dark brown eyes snapped to the teenager who sat on the mat.

"What?" The grin dropped off of the short teen. "It was funny!"

Kim rolled her eyes, "Why don't you get up and do something useful?"

"Yeah!" Jack agreed.

Eddie held his hands up in defeat as he rose from the mat. He groaned painfully as his realized that his foot had now become numb. The tingly feeling caused him to fall right back to the ground - face first.

Rudy Evans slipped out of his office with a sigh. His eyebrows quickly furrowed once he saw that the punching dummy was still not in the locker.

"Jack, Kim? Why isn't the dummy inside the locker? I told you guys to do that earlier!" He began to nag.

Kim's eyebrow twitched up, "We're trying! But .. it's sort of stuck."

Eddie raised his head from the mat as another devious smirk played onto his lips, "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!"

"Stop saying that." Jack snapped as he wiped his forehead.

Rudy ignored this and stepped closer to the blonde and brunet, "Maybe you should pull it out first -"

"-That's what she said." Eddie interjected as he stood up from his place.

"EDDIE!" Kim yelled as glared at him with her piercing brown eyes.

Eddie held his hands up in defense as Milton stepped out of the dojo's changing rooms.

"What's going on?" He asked as he tied his yellow belt tightly around his waist.

Eddie cleared his throat, "They're trying to put the punching dummy into the locker - and they're failing miserably."

Jack shifted his attention from the dummy to his sickly-looking friend, "Eddie's trying to be all funny and is using 'that's what she said' jokes. Please stop him."

"They're just making it so easy!" Eddie tried to defend himself when Milton looked at him funny.

Milton shrugged his shoulders in response.

The dojo's front doors let out a ding and Jerry Martinez came into their view. In his hand, he was holding a half-eaten corn dog completely covered with mustard. He chewed the hot dog like a cow and even muttered a 'sup?' in Eddie's direction.

_POP._

Kim and Jack flew back slightly as the dummy's head was finally freed from the locker. The two high-fived one another in celebration.

"Okay," Kim started. "Let's try planning this first."

"Good idea." Jack decided to put his two cents in.

Milton walked around them so he was right in front of the locker. He then turned swiftly on his foot so that he was now facing the blue dummy.

"Well ... if you turn it this way," He used his hands to model what he was stating. "then stick it in there-"

"-That's what she said." Eddie rubbed the back of his neck as he whispered the saying.

The five of them turned to face the teenager with the braces.

"Say that one more time." Kim was literally burning holes in him with her brown eyes. "I dare you."

Eddie shrugged his shoulders and faced Jerry, "Where were you?"

"I was at Captain Corndog's! They had a corn dog eating contest! Whoever ate 50 corn dogs - wins one free one." Jerry smirked as he took the last bite from the stick.

Eddie quirked an eyebrow, "I'm guessing that you won?"

"I did! How did you know?" Jerry's eyes glistened.

Eddie shook his head as he mentally face-palmed his best friend.

Jerry took no note of this, "It was so hard, yo!"

Eddie let out a chuckle.

"I had to stuff five of them in my mouth! It all wouldn't fit!" Jerry shook his head as he tried to reenact the situation.

"That's what she said." Eddie said with an extremely confident tone.

He instantly bit his tongue as he came face-to-face with an irritated Kim Crawford, "THAT'S IT!"

Eddie let out a girlish scream as he turned around and ran extremely fast out of the dojo. The fiery blonde was hot on his heels and muttered a bunch of insults obviously directed towards him.

Milton walked over to where Jerry was and watched the two go at it in the dojo's courtyard.

"Yo .." Milton faced Jerry. "Who's this 'she' person Eddie keeps talking about? And why does she keep saying that?"

Milton breathed in deeply as he rubbed Jerry's back, "Wow .. just, wow."

* * *

This was horrible. WHY AM I NOT FUNNY? HELP ME. I'm not funny.  
Probably going to end up deleting this anyways. Ugh, I'm not funny. WHYWHYWHY.


	2. Texts From Last Night

Okay .. so this is sort of a future fic. It involves drinking/being drunk .. but it's for humorous purposes.

Thanks for all the reviews, :).

Enjoy!

* * *

**Texts From Last Night**

* * *

**April 23 11:17pm**

**To: Milton Krupnick  
**

**From: Jerry Martinez  
**

DUUUUUUUUDEEEE, you in for the drunk fest TONIGHT?

**April 23 11:18pm  
**

**To: Jerry Martinez  
**

**From: Milton Krupnick**_  
_

ARE YOU HIGH? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO YOU'RE TEXTING? It's Milton, you toad!_  
_

**April 23 11:19pm**

**To: Milton Krupnick  
**

**From: Jerry Martinez  
**

YOU NEED TO LOOSEN UP MAN. Don't get your knockers in it a twist.

**April 23 11:21pm**

**To: Jerry Martinez  
**

**From: Milton Krupnick  
**

I seriously doubt I need to loosen up. I'm perfectly fine being boring and dry. AT LEAST I KNOW THAT KNOCKERS MEAN WOMEN'S PRIVATE PARTS!

**April 23 11:22pm**

**To: Milton Krupnick  
**

**From: Jerry Martinez  
**

At least I have enough balls to actually refer to them as breasts.

**April 23 11:24pm**

**To: Jerry Martinez  
**

**From: Milton Krupnick  
**

YOU DID NOT JUST GO THERE! You know what .. I'm going to turn my phone off .. you'll probably end up doing something stupid.

**April 23 11:25pm**

**To: Milton Krupnick  
**

**From: Jerry Martinez  
**

FINE! You go stay in your cave and study pointless things .. pfft.

_(message could not be sent)_

* * *

**April 24 12:01am**

**To: Kim Crawford  
**

**From: Jack Anderson  
**

Jerry freakin' came to my front door and nicky nicky nine doored me.

**April 24 12:03am**

**To: Jack Anderson  
**

**From: Kim Crawford**

I just saw Eddie's face come into contact with the asphalt .. they got along pretty well.

**April 24 12:04am**

**To: Kim Crawford  
**

**From: Jack Anderson  
**

JERRY ACTUALLY THREW A BRICK AT MY WINDOW. HE THREW A FREAKIN' BRICK! WHAT IS GOING ON? The hell? THERE'S A NOTE ON THE BRICK.

**April 24 12:04am**

**To: Jack Anderson  
**

**From: Kim Crawford  
**

Jerry came to my door and explicitly told me that you and I need to make babies... HE EXPLAINED EVERY SINGLE DETAIL.

**April 24 12:06am **

**To: Kim Crawford  
**

**From: Jack Anderson  
**

THE NOTE! I quote - 'prooootekt meeh frum duh cattt.'

**April 24 12:07am**

**To: Jack Anderson  
**

**From: Kim Crawford  
**

THAT'S IT! I am going to beat this kid up.

* * *

**April 24 12:27am**

**To: Milton Krupnick  
**

**From: Eddie Johnson  
**

JERRRRYYYYY IS THE SWAAAAG MAASTUUUUR.

**April 24 12:28am**

**To: Eddie Johnson  
**

**From: Milton Krupnick  
**

Leave me alone.

**April 24 12:35am**

**To: Milton Krupnick  
**

**From: Jerry Martinez  
**

Heey .. I THINKKKK YOUUUUR JUUUUSSSSSSSSSTTTTTT SOOO ADORAABLLLEE .. bttw tihs is Roosaaline.

**April 24 12:38am**

**To: Jerry Martinez  
**

**From: Milton Krupnick  
**

I know it's you Jerry ... I have your number already in my phone. I DON'T EVEN KNOW A ROSALINE!

**April 24 12:39am**

**To: Milton Krupnick  
**

**From: Eddie Johnson  
**

WE WOULD LIKE THREE CHEEZEBURGERS .. and even throw in a fry in there .. ACTUUUAALY NEVERMIND ... WE WANT HALLLF A FRY .. just haalf of juan.

**April 24 12:40am**

**To: Eddie Johnson  
**

**From: Milton Krupnick  
**

I AM NOT MCDONALD'S .. I AM MILTON! LEAVE ME ALONE .. I swear - I am never talking to you two ever again.

* * *

**April 24 1:01am**

**To: Jack Anderson  
**

**From: Eddie Johnson  
**

wee haaz escaaped to Mejicoo!

**April** **24 1:03am**

**To: Eddie Johnson  
**

**From: Jack Anderson  
**

You are not in Mexico.. I see you two belly dancing right in front of my lawn. Please get off .. it's very disturbing.

**April 24 1:04am **

**To: Jack Anderson  
**

**From: Eddie Johnson  
**

I SEEE U DRIVIN ROUND THE TOWN WITH THHA GIRLL I LOVE AND I'M LYKKKE -

**April 24 1:05am**

**To: Eddie Johnson  
**

**From: Jack Anderson  
**

I am now videotaping you. This will be going on the internet shortly ...

* * *

**April 24 10:57am**

**To: Kim Crawford  
**

**From: Jerry Martinez  
**

WHY DO I HAVE A BLACK EYE?

**April 24 11:00am**

**To: Jerry Martinez  
**

**From: Kim Crawford  
**

I punched you because you kept trying to get me to go into Jack's house.

**April 24 11:10am**

**To: Milton Krupnick  
**

**From: Eddie Johnson  
**

Why do I have a list containing Falafel Phil's and Sticky Huns?

**April 24 11:11am**

**To: Eddie Johnson  
**

**From: Milton Krupnick  
**

You were angry because they refused to open at ONE IN THE MORNING. You were planning their downfall ..

* * *

**April 24 1:52pm**

**To: Jack Anderson  
**

**From: Rudy Evans  
**

WHY IS MY CAR COVERED IN GRAFFITI THAT REPEATEDLY SAYS 'WOOOOOO'? AND WHY ARE THERE FIFTY SEVEN BRICKS _IN_ MY CAR?

**April 24 1:55pm**

**To: Jerry Martinez  
**

**From: Jack Anderson  
**

You put fifty seven bricks in Rudy's car?

**April 24 1:56pm**

**To: Jack Anderson  
**

**From: Jerry Martinez  
**

... he counted them?

* * *

**April 24 2:37pm**

**To: Jack Anderson  
**

**From: Eddie Johnson  
**

DID YOU UPLOAD THE VIDEO OF ME BELLY DANCING?

**April 24 2:40pm  
**

**To: Eddie Johnson  
**

**From: Jack Anderson  
**

... gotta go, bye!

* * *

Okay .. wooooow. I'm horrible at coming up with ideas.

But, this was an attempt so be nice :D


End file.
